Life, Death, Retirement…After Life? Part I
I remember once Master Johwa said, “People think of their life from birth to death.Â As a trainee you should look at life from before birth and past death.”Â It took so long for this to have deeper meaning to me.Â I guess that maybe at that time I couldn’t sense a deeper existence about myself, or was young and felt far away from death, or sometimes I think that we all generally walk around in denial as if we will live forever.
As time passes and the more training is done there is a deeper sense of reality about my existence.Â When I was younger things like having a soul or existing beyond this short life seemed like it was just in my imagination.Â A daydream that I liked to entertain but was not nearly as important as securing my material life.Â The more I go, the more real spiritual existence of myself and others is and the less important other things seem.
The more people talk to me about casual things the more my chest feels a deeper urgency for the both of us.Â Casual talk seems a little bothersome, as if we were in a crisis situation and someone is trying to talk to me about a football game.Â What can I do?Â I try to keep myself rooted in my heart and hope for the both of us while entertaining the chit chat so we can get along well. Is this how Master Johwa feels when he politely redirects my conversation to something more meaningful?
How big of a picture are we missing?Â I was talking to my wife recently about forgiving someone.Â What came to mind was how important it was to me when I was young to have a certain toy.Â Now looking back it’s so silly.Â Then I ask myself how long will I live?Â Around 50 more years give or take?Â Then I asked myself how long will I be dead?Â It’s so much more time!Â What about 1000 years after I die?Â How silly will the petty arguments and disagreements I have with people seem then?Â So what good is this toy now?Â What am I really doing here with this time?
After doing this last workshop with Master Johwa these things are really concerning me.Â My sense of urgency feels overwhelming sometimes.Â I feel like I have to do something now!Â But I can’t move.Â I know from previous experience that trying to do good even for others on a casual material sense is not really penetrating the deeper and more pressing issue.Â I need to do a better job within myself!
I use music a lot to remember my purpose and refresh myself.Â One of those songs on my playlist is “Man in the Mirror”, by Michael Jackson.Â I really love the lyrics and feel that when he wrote this song he was sincere and felt urgency about the world.Â The most important line to me is, “If you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make a change.”