Acting myself – more than an Oscar-worthy performance
Around the time of the Oscars I realized that I actually spend a considerable amount of time acting instead of living my life.Â I constantly try to meet expectations and to be what, I think, is expected of me in my role as a senior manager aspiring to the executive level.
However, if I am not acting as my real self, I feel like a fake and like I am just being an actor in a role. I feel like I am pretending to be something or somebody, which has nothing to do with me. If I am not aware of who I really am, I am apart of myself and I am not really alive. Â In turn, if I keep my awareness about my real self, I feel good about myself, I feel at home and at peace with being me. This is when I am thoughtful and make the better decisions.
After reading chapter 7 of â€˜Harmony Meditationâ€™ by JoHwa Choi, however, I realized that there is another perspective though that I had not considered yet. By keeping the awareness about myself, I can fill this role or any role without acting it! Any role becomes just another facet of myself and one of many â€˜mesâ€™ that comprises the real me. If I act my true nature having true love in my heart I can be all these without being a fake.
My teacher pointed out that I tend to aiming too low. I can see now how I am limiting myself and others through this behavior. To aim higher, I no longer need to act, I can be the real me in any role â€“ so it is no longer a role.
These many â€˜mesâ€™ then become reflections of my real self, and I keep switching Â between them during my lifeâ€™s journey as I adapt to change, letting me come closer to my goal and becoming my Self.