Acting myself – more than an Oscar-worthy performance
Around the time of the Oscars I realized that I actually spend a considerable amount of time acting instead of living my life. I constantly try to meet expectations and to be what, I think, is expected of me in my role as a senior manager aspiring to the executive level.
However, if I am not acting as my real self, I feel like a fake and like I am just being an actor in a role. I feel like I am pretending to be something or somebody, which has nothing to do with me. If I am not aware of who I really am, I am apart of myself and I am not really alive. Â In turn, if I keep my awareness about my real self, I feel good about myself, I feel at home and at peace with being me. This is when I am thoughtful and make the better decisions.
After reading chapter 7 of ‘Harmony Meditation’ by JoHwa Choi, however, I realized that there is another perspective though that I had not considered yet. By keeping the awareness about myself, I can fill this role or any role without acting it! Any role becomes just another facet of myself and one of many ‘mes’ that comprises the real me. If I act my true nature having true love in my heart I can be all these without being a fake.
My teacher pointed out that I tend to aiming too low. I can see now how I am limiting myself and others through this behavior. To aim higher, I no longer need to act, I can be the real me in any role – so it is no longer a role.
These many ‘mes’ then become reflections of my real self, and I keep switching  between them during my life’s journey as I adapt to change, letting me come closer to my goal and becoming my Self.
You do it when you do it.
It becomes so laughable when we see ourselves clearly acting out the small roles that we choose to play 🙂
Trying to meet what is expected of me – I do it, either habitually or cowardly, usually even unaware that I just play a role and betray the other me. How do you detect it and where is the power to break?! – reutorical question. Thank you for the post
The answers to your questions are in “Harmony Meditation: A new way to completionâ€. I keep re-reading it regularly!